When God speaks...He sure hits the mark!

Just recently I entered into a fast for two reasons: (1.) Fix my troubled heart before the Lord and (2.) Seek specific direction concerning some things He has been speaking to me about to do. In the next few days I will be sharing highlights of my intimate encounter with the Lord during this personal retreat.

As I mentioned earlier the first reason for my fast was to fix my troubled heart. Life after moving to the USA has been a mixture of a lot of things. While everyday, I wake up to a loving presence of a godly husband who has been a tremendous blessing to me since the day we got married, living in the west has its challenges. One of these challenges is feeling of alienation and missing everything that is Asian. I miss being able to freely share what is in my heart with friends back in my home country. Here I soon learned that people are not as comfortable to listen to confidences. Private matters are supposed to be that..private. I guess that is the reason why psychiatry is a booming profession in this land. Though happily married, a part of me felt empty and alone. Thankfully God gave me a husband who supported me through this time. In spite of this, I knew that no one can ever fix how I feel except my LORD hence the fast.

First day of fast, God led me to read the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 17-19. While meditating on the life of Elijah  God met me where I was, by confronting my sense of alienation. Elijah's complains..."It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." (I Kings 19:4)... "I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."(I Kings 19:10;14)... resonated with me. As my heart repeatedly grumbled, God repeatedly addressed  my murmurings with compassion..."Arise and eat" the Lord told me, "because the journey is too great for you."As I pondered on God's word, I slowly found rest and fullness in the feast that He has served before me through His word. 

While in the room enjoying my personal retreat the word of the Lord came to me..."What are you doing here", Elsie? It was a question that exposed everything that was wrong in my heart...then God's words came clearly...What are your doing Elsie? Stand before me and be still and hear my words...Go back to to what I have called you to do. Do not think you are alone for I have preserved the lives of many who have remained faithful to me in the midst of many trials. As the Lord spoke these words, He brought my attention  to the manifold sufferings other faithful servants of the Lord are currently going through. My mind went to a friend in Libya who is trapped there and is waiting deliverance…I thought of another missionary friend who lost a son while serving as missionaries in another country...Indeed I am not alone in my pain and I will never be alone even in suffering, because so many people who are faithfully serving the Lord are also experiencing trials and tribulations…Realizing this my heart was changed from a position of neediness to a position of intercession. I then prayed for all my brothers and sisters all over the world, who are going through tough times like I do. I prayed that God’s comforting words be upon them….that each one of them may also learn to walk in the grace and mercy that God has made available to them each waking day of their life.

It is amazing how suffering and pain has a tendency to make one feel alone and alienated…Elijah felt it…I felt it….But thanks be to God for refocusing my eyes to see the reality that I will never be alone…Even in times when I think I am, somewhere around the world there are thousands maybe millions of saints in the same situation that I am…maybe even worse situation that I am…In times of suffering God is there too…In fact He spoke to Elijah. 

Thank you Lord for speaking to me and showing me this truth. You are truly ONE amazing GOD. Thank you for compassionately meeting and correcting me. Amen.

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